A few minutes ago, I walked into the living room and the EMPTY WRAPPER WAS ON THE FLOOR!!! I turned around to see Zelda looking at me with a wagging tail and a grin on her face that seemed to say, "O HAI! I discovered chocolate! It is very tasty! I LOOOOOOOVE ETT! I LOVE ETT SO MUCH!"
[Representative Image: A picture taken the day we brought Zelda home.]
Immediately, I panicked, because chocolate is poisonous to dogs. I rang the vet, and one of the many awesome vet techs there assured me that even with the amount she ate, its being milk chocolate and Zelda being 40 pounds means that the absolute worst that will happen is a case of the butt-squirts. (I'm paraphrasing.)
My panic gave way to relief, which gave way to I'M GOING TO MURDER THAT DOG FOR EATING MY AERO BAR! (Not really.) I told Zelda she had worried me and asked her kindly to please not eat anymore chocolate bars. By which I mean, I made a mental note not to leave any more chocolate bars within Zel's reach.
[Representative Image: Despite appearing to hang her head in shame,
Zelda was actually, at the time this picture was taken, staring at an ant.]
Meanwhile, Dudley surveyed the goings-on with a smug self-satisfaction that betrayed his attempts to convey disinterest.
"I'm the GOOD dog, you know."
I know, Dudley. I know.